Maree’s musings

HEARTH and HOME and … ZOO!

Most of us share our home with animals … dogs and cats maybe [though with serious rain – that’s cats and dogs.] But contemplating less obvious guests made me realise how many and how often other creatures become part of our lives.

A decent look may locate a dog in the manger, a cat in the bag – unless someone has let it out; in which case it will probably be among the pigeons, stolen the cream or swallowed your tongue! Be warned: the wolf at the door may be dressed as a sheep. A ‘pig in a poke’ – I had to look that one up.

Apparently it’s not a Good Thing to buy something without looking at it first. Fish are found in the kettle (or sometimes out of water). There’s snakes in the grass, and ducks, if they haven’t ducked for cover or gone lame or dead, on a good day will all be in a row. A fluffy collection in a box makes you feel good! Rainwater? No worries, it just runs off their backs.

A bull in a China Shop – not the best. Horses are often stabled but you need to keep the door shut. And don’t, whatever you do, frighten one by putting the cart in front. Remember the only reason to look in his mouth is to place the bit between his teeth. And if you’re on a high one, it pays to get down.

Being donkey deep is not advisable either. Possums: quick! – there’s one in the headlights. Turkeys are great unless you are one, although going cold turkey is noble.

Talking of birds, they’re everywhere. One in your hand – preferable to two in the bush. You’ll need more than one stone too, even if they are crows.

A canary is useful in a coalmine. Wild geese are fun to chase; say ‘boo’ to get golden eggs. What’s good for a goose is good for her mate too; although you hope she’s not cooked unless she’s on the menu. Hens are plentiful – unlike their teeth – and are known for coming home to roost on occasions. Caught in a ‘chicken/egg’ situation? Decisions can be dodgey if you have all your eggs in one basket – nothing worse than ending up with egg on your face.

Early birds get the best worms so it pays to wake up at ‘sparrow’s fart’; or the Kiwi version – ‘fantail’s’. No good being a night owl, or chickening out by swanning around; it’ll get you nowhere. The albatross: avoid. You don’t want one hanging round your neck. It could be your swansong.

Insects – don’t go there! The flies are on the wall, or in the ointment. You could have ants in your pants, a bee in your bonnet or a flea in your ear.

Talking of pests: RATS!! They get a bad rap. Joining them in a race is to be avoided. Having to swallow a dead one doesn’t sound like much fun either. The suspicious amongst us can smell one coming, while the carefree blithely ignore the corpulent (as in ‘not giving a fat rat’s .…’)

Finally … my favourite which inspired this topic. The elephant in the room: should be obvious to even those without eyes like a hawk, but is ignored. Worth pondering …