Perfectionist’s Lament

BY JOHN ANSELL
 
A high achieving man is one
Who goes to extra lengths
To keep his many weaknesses
Outnumbered by his strengths.
 
But! Win in moderation  
For the perfect life is frowned on
He who succeeds excessively
The Deity will round on.
 
The Bible has this lesson
For the man who does no wrong:
He who plays the goodie-too-shoes
Won’t be playing for too long.

 
Play to win, but not too often
Engineer the odd loss
Cos if God suspects you’re perfect
He will nail you to a cross.
 
Yes, you know He loves a winner
So unless you wish to view Him
Cultivate your inner loser
Or He’ll move you closer to Him.
 
You’ve won every game this season
So it’s bound to dent your pride
But to chuck the last is crucial
Or you’ll so be crucified.
 
God’s message is a simple one:
“Secure some epic fails
Or I’ll cure your obsessiveness
By skewering you with nails.”
 
Reveal some fallibilities
And put one past your goalie
Or four of your extremities
Will shortly be most holey.
 
As you head down the final straight
You must mistime your run
 Cos if every post’s a winning post
You’ll soon be nailed to one. 
 
Be awful to your parents
Be the source of constant friction
Cos if God thinks you’re the perfect son
Your prize is crucifixion.
 
Christ died to save perfectionists
Be guided by his error
And take your cue from Tiger Woods
And Dick Smith’s and Fonterra.
 
Yes, set your goals by all means 
Plan to win and work your plan
But come up short for Your sake
Lose while you still can!