Maree’s musings

The LONG and SHORTENED of it.

‘Life is short’, the saying goes; and brevity is contagious. For example [e.g.], the mysteriously named acronym: i.e. a new word from the initials of the key words. The Swedish firm IKEA makes flash stuff. IKEA’s short for Ingvar Kamprad Elmtaryd Agunnaryd – whatever that means! Going to a party? It’s polite to send an RSVP, and if you’re organised, do it ASAP. The invite might say P.S.: BYO. Whatever you do, don’t confuse p.m. with a.m. or get your ETA muddled up. OK? (may be a misspelling of ‘och aye’ or an abbrn [HAH!] of ‘all correct’.)
Filling in forms? You may be asked for DOB & (ampersand) ID. Tickboxes for ‘sex’ [how impertinent IMHO!] have ‘M’ or ‘F’ but perhaps should include LGBTQI. Places for Y, N or N/A. More than one page? PTO.
Life is full of bureaucracy. We have GOVT, WINZ, DSW, the IRD and GST (incl or excl); the ANZ and BNZ caring for leftover $$$s or your OD! DHBs have EDs for rush jobs; CEOs and 2ICs and smiling PR staff. These folk have B.Scs, M.Bs and Ch.Bs, MBAs or even PhDs. Hope they help.
Technology tends to OD on shorts. We have TV, DVDs, CDs, UHF and VHF, AM and FM, IPods and other Pods, the good old BBC. RADAR, CYBORGs, ROBOTs and other bots. Flying UAVs delivering pizza or taking pix. Scarey. LASER. I looked that one up – ‘light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation’ I’m none the wiser, though.
On your PCs (Personal Computer, not Politically Correct, incidentally) and I-Pads: FB, blog – short for weblog; www., MS-DOS, ROM, RAM, USB, etc. Emails sport FOMO, BFFs and TTFN. OMG! FYI I don’t even know what some of those mean LOL.

Politics has MMP instead of FPP; NAT, LAB, TOP and ‘NZ 1st’. A new PM and MPs(eventually!)
Mnenomics – a terrible word to pronounce as well as spell! It comes from a Greek [oops Gk] word meaning ‘related to memory’. Remember ROYGBIV, for the rainbow colours? FAST: what to look for with a suspected stroke. Useful to recall when one needs help! One of my faves is ‘SSDD’: same s**t, different day’. Another – more useful – ‘KISS’.
Military vehicles deserve a mention. HUMVEE is a corruption of HMMWV (High Mobility Military Wheeled Vehicle.) Imagine the boss’s command: ‘Quick – get out the H…!’ Hopeless in a hurry. ‘General Purpose Army Vehicle’ morphed into JEEP, while the Iroquois Utility Helicopter’s original designation was HU1; affectionately called ‘HUEY.’
The RAF’s phonetic alphabet produced some interesting examples. A was ‘ack’; turning anti-aircraft guns into ‘Ack-acks’; a term still used. Perhaps WTF could be more acceptably written ‘Whiskey Tango Foxtrot’? And ‘Foxtrot Foxtrot Sierra’? Work that one out yourself!
Vehicle manufacturers love snappy suffixes. Sometimes that’s a mistake. It’s difficult to sell a Toyota MR2 in France. Spoken it sounds like ‘merdeux’ – Fr. for (ahem) ‘not very good’. Nicknames include Beemer for BMW, and Veedub for Volkswagen. Models include the SUV, MX5, TR3, RX7, XJS etc. You’ve no idea what they mean unless you’re a petrolhead, but they sound flash.
My favourites? Recently I discovered FUBAR (F**d Up Beyond All Recognition) – way worse than SNAFU (Situation Normal, All F**d Up). Oh dear!!
In MBA, though, all is sweet. Our VFB boys and the ambos do a ‘fab’ job. Ditto the GPs at the Med Centre who check your BP, organise X-Rays, ECGs or EEGs, CBCs, IVFs, CTs, MRIs… There’s even MOW – Meals on Wheels. As we say here: DIY – it’s in our DNA.