Stunning first 4 – 1 win for Marty Women’s FC

By All-knowing Football Reporter

It was always going to happen. After a few draws, some losses the newly-formed MWFC won their first game. An impressive and resounding victory.

It started with ‘The Fox in the Box,’ the striker who plays in the traditional Number 9 role of

marauding the penalty box ready to pounce on any unsuspecting ball. 

The Fox in the Box strikes fast. The stylish Foxy play is augmented by the presentation of the tools of her trade, immaculate manicure and stunning hair, just like her control of the ball. 1 – nil.

Following her name’s sake in all matters football, ‘Gazzer’ played in the same manner as the

England striker. Dinking, dunking, stepovers, nutmegs and sheer speed. Nothing was

going to stop 2 goals from ‘Gaz’, and nearly a hat-trick. 

The tradition is if a player scores a hattrick they keep the ball. Being new MWFC only has one ball and there are more games to come. Score: 3 – 0.

Twinkle Toes danced through the defence as if she’d trained with the NZ Ballet. Another pirouette and she was floored by the defence. VAR wasn’t needed, a clear penalty. A 4-step run up, slight shuffle and WOOOF: the keeper went the wrong way, the ball almost went through the netting. 

Score: 4 – 0.

Showing no resistance to the suggestion, affording amp-le time and at no charge, Lisa of Lisa’s Electrical stepped up and defended the MWFC goal. Ohm-y gosh, watt happened, a ball went close, but Lisa was there to charge from the goal-line and clear. With her down-to-earth style Lisa LED her defenders; none of the opposition would be able to take a short circuit through the defence; nothing was getting through. 

Her control ensured the back 4 alternating and switching to the current ‘V’ shaped back 5. It provided surge protection and the direct approach. Lisa was down-to-earth and conducted the penalty box without a fuse being blown; her distribution from the box was perfect. It was a defensive team effort, and no one was isolated. 

Sadly, the ball was switched, too much resistance was put up and a free kick from outside the box meant MWFC didn’t go home with a clean sheet. It was an impressive win against a team in Manchester United red kit. 4 – 1.

Marty’s Messi was keen to get on the score sheet, but not this time!

The team continues to be blighted by injuries. However, there is a midfield playing Doctor, who assumes a weekly starting place. Wonky knee, pulled achilles, plantar fasciitis, knocked back and the occasional hammy. The Doctor is kept busy and always plays!

The team has so much potential. At the post-match presser the coach was asked how it felt to have the first win under his belt. “Next season I’ll be wearing a wider belt, but the whole team was great, and it was a well-deserved win, it was the team what did it.”

Then came the last game of the amazingly successful first season on August 17 for MWFC. 

The final game saw the most exciting 4 – 4 draw with a winning goal being denied them in the final three minutes.  

A great season with plenty of goals, score draws, a resounding win, a swathe of injuries and excessive and exuberant enthusiasm. A lot to be very proud of for the first season. 

Very well done to the entire squad.

As told to the self-appointed reporter who wasn’t there.