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THE AUNTEATER

April 10, 2018 April 2018 No Comments

by Ogden Nash* and John Ansell

A tiny termite found some wood;

He tasted it and found it good,

And that is why your Auntie Mae

Fell through the parlour floor today.

She hit the basement with her head

And now your Auntie Mae is dead;

Her funeral caused a big to-do:

The termite found her casket too.

Pallbearers fought the urge to yell

When Auntie fell through that as well,

And when her carcass hit the floor

They gently dragged her to the door,

One on each leg, one on each arm,

Most anxious not to cause alarm

(A little easier said than done:

Your Auntie Mae weighed half a ton).

With mourners feeling much the worse

For wear, they heaved her in the hearse

And drove her off for burial,

Where, though they still felt very ill,

They finally got her in the ground,

Before the tiny termite found…

He also liked the taste of bone.

An ant can’t leave an aunt alone.

 

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