Dear Dr Jane

I have been told I have to do a conference presentation in four months time.  Public speaking has always terrified me and I have got out of it wherever possible over my life.  However, I have been told by my employer that this presentation has to be done by me, and me alone.  I’ve already started being anxious about it and losing sleep, and it’s still four months away! I have even considered resigning from my job to get out of it.

Any advice?

White Knuckled

Dear White Knuckled

You are part of the trembling majority.  Jerry Seinfield once quipped that at any given funeral most people would rather be in the coffin than giving the eulogy.  Fear of public speaking is frequently cited as one of the (if not the) most common fears we humans have.  Social death, apparently, is feared more than actual death.  

No doubt you have already comprehended that anxiety is very hard to argue with, and no amount of platitudes from others can magically erase the fear.  How many times have you heard “just imagine the audience naked” and wanted to punch the well-meaning advice-giver?  It’s as useful as telling someone who is scared of heights to just not look down.

Here is a truth-bomb White Knuckled: the best antidote to anxiety is courage.  If anxiety speaks loud, then your conviction to complete this presentation needs to speak louder. This means you will need to practise having a voice in front of a range of audiences, preferably starting with one that is small and supportive.

Work your way up from there, being careful that you gently extend yourself each time you practise speaking.  Learn what works and what doesn’t every single time you do a presentation (even if it is just speaking informally at a team meeting).  There is no magic wand or cure for public speaking anxiety, only hard core evidence through doing it will update the brain’s centre for threat.

Many people expect themselves to be brilliantly entertaining or speak like a Roman orator during a work presentation, and when this inevitably does not occur, the discrepancy between expectation and reality is like pouring rocket fuel on your anxiety bonfire.

Public speaking anxiety is classified as a social anxiety, meaning that the core fear is that of negative evaluation from the audience.  This is a very good time to give yourself permission to be perfectly boring and average. I am sure you have listened to hundreds of boring presentations before in your life, and not thought anything of it.  It is time to join the ranks of the mediocre and remember that most people in the audience will wish you well (even if your presentation is boring) and the rest of them are likely thinking about what to have for dinner (it’s true).

One final tip.  Nothing causes or maintains anxiety and a shaky voice like breathing as if you were sprinting like Usian Bolt (try running as fast as you can and talking at the same time for a fun experiment). Both anxiety and quality of voice benefit hugely from slow nostril breathing.  Apply before, during and after.

Dr Jane Freeman-Brown, MNZCCP

Registered Clinical Psychologist