Limeyricks

(Limericks about Brits)

by JOHN ANSELL

1945

For winning the war they adore ya
Then sack you – that’s gratitude for ya
See off the Third Reich
Then it’s “Win, on your bike!”
Today they’d have fined the employer

1953

Hats off to old Philip the Greek
Who despite not exactly being meek
Still inherits the earth
(Or a few nations’ worth)
Just for mounting with batten – what cheek!

1963

There are few more illustrious Brits
Than those four Liverpuddlian twits
Whose music and humour
Could heal a tumour
But whose hair gave their parents the shock of their lives

?1971

I remember a tour way back when
When some Lions played rugby like men
When some great British backs
Ran rings round the All Blacks
Who did not let it happen again.

?1982

Don’t cry for me, Argentina
My army is leaner and meaner
It’s you you should cry for
Cos you’re gonna die for
A barren old Las called Malvina.

?1989

For those Russkis I feel a bit sad
That their red revolution went bad
What they could have achieved
Had their party believed
In a Lennon called John and not Vlad.