Political Careering

by JOHN ANSELL
 
Dedicated to New Zealand’s fiercest political animals,
Rob Muldoon, Winston Peters and Helen Clark.
 
Working on a politician,
Lobby for a strong decision,
Lots of lolly on commission
As a lobbyist.
 
Working for a politician,
Always been a long ambition,
Dominate a strong division,
Party activist.
 
Wanna be a politician,
Follow me I’m on a mission,
Gotta get a strong position
On the party list.
 
Gonna be a politician,
Gotta be on television,
Shot of me in each edition,
Babies getting kissed.
 
Finally I’m a politician,
What a battle of attrition!
Sock it to the Opposition,
Then I’m getting pissed.
 
Up and coming politician,
Got a lot of recognition,
Tons of perks and tunnel vision,
No expenses missed.
 
Double-dipping politician,
Higher Salaries Commission,
Should decline, but what they’re dishin’
Out I can’t resist.
 
Party’s leading politician,
Not a lot of competition,
Clobbered ’em into submission
With my iron fist.
 
Leader of the Opposition,
Keeper of a strong tradition
To articulate a vision
People can’t resist.
 
Country’s leading politician,
Blunted by the coalition,
Hunted by the Opposition,
Wish they would desist.
 
Country’s leading politician,
Made a rather odd admission,
Order ’em to block transmission,
Really must insist.
 
One embattled politician,
I’m a picture of contrition,
Honestly to God I’m wishin’
I did not exist.
 
Soon-to-be ex-politician,
Step aside on one condition:
“Leavin’ of my own volition”—
Think you get the gist.
 
Tired of being a politician,
God I made the wrong decision,
Damn it all, I’m goin’ fishin’—
Get me out of this!