Ageing with Attitude 

“Life isn’t about how you survived the storm, but how you danced in the rain”

In our daily lives, we all encounter people whose burdens are heavy: poor health, family woes, financial stresses. Some of those people cope no matter what, they have something inside them that keeps going. Sunshine or rain, they will make the best of what comes. 

Other people feel ok about asking for, or just accepting a helping hand or a listening ear. From somewhere under their troubles they instinctively know they probably could get through the situation alone, but weathering the storm will be easier if they let someone stand beside them.

And then there are those people who are completely swamped and can’t see the good in a day no matter the weather. 

I met an older person like this recently*. The pain in her heart is palpable – it clouds her face and burns through in her words. Life has definitely not turned out how she had hoped, and now she has health problems after a fall, and housing problems to top it all off. And she is truly alone, with no family or friends to turn to, perhaps not surprising given that her unhappiness is often expressed as unpleasantness. 

Working for Age Concern, I put on a logical hat. Listening, then looking around and trying to identify some practical solutions. Acting, through a team and multi-agency approach, a housing option was found. Sharing information about opportunities for engaging with her community – there were many! From a potential volunteer visitor at home, to social outings or exercise classes to build muscles and help improve balance (maybe preventing future falls). Things didn’t have to be the way they were – things could be better! 

But not for this person. Anyone who has ever tried to “change a person” probably guessed where this was going about 30 seconds ago. The woman decided she didn’t want our help after all. At least she has more information now than before, so maybe she will change her mind.

I take heart that this type of outcome has been rare in my twenty-plus years of working with people. If you (or an older person you know) are carrying a heavy load and have a sense that you might need to just talk about it with someone, I want you to know that Age Concern are here. We work from the Waihinga Martinborough Community Centre on the third Wednesday of every month (May 19^th 10:30-3:00), or give us a call (06-377-0066).