MAREE’S MUSINGS

Party Lines    

By Maree Roy

 It’s coming up to election time again. To me, it doesn’t seem long since the last one. 

We’re being treated to the usual electioneering fever and all it entails: endless rounds of speechmaking, interviews, polls and so on, plus the [definitely] odd slanging match. 

With the fast pace of modern life, short and snappy slogans are all the rage. My google-delving of the word slogan revealed it comes from the 16^th century Gaelic “sluagh-ghairm,”  literally a warcry. Says it all, really! Party lines, basically slogans in sheep’s clothing, are trotted out with an interesting and occasionally bizarre selection of these catchphrases. 

The expression trotting out was first used in 1838 in reference to flash horses being put through their paces. Just seven years later it became slang for ‘produce and display for admiration’ – in other words, showing off combined with a dose of horse shit. Quite!

Hoardings and billboards, designed to let us know what the main party lines are, have been popping up like last month’s rabbits. Billboards are just noticeboards for displaying information (a bill being an alternative word for a notice), but I puzzled over hoardings. Back in history, a hourd was another name for a hyrdel: a frame used as a temporary barrier or fence, just like the modern day version: hurdle.

So it’s nothing to do with obsessive collecting which is probably a relief. Both require an eye-catching photo crying out for the usual defacing, and a slogan (ditto).

For 2023, we’ve got ‘In It For You’ (dearly hoping the ‘it’ is not something too deep, as mentioned

above); while another lot is encouraging us to move forward by getting Back on Track. If this requires a trainload of reverse decisions, will we end up back where we started? Both slogans are easy targets for a felt pen-wielding wag. “In THE S#It For You” sounds no fun. And is it Back on Track or Back Track?

Missing one two-letter word derails the process, causing the wheels to fall off. We’re also encouraged to Act Now, while another party wants us to take back what we presumably own, though what “that’ is, is left a tad uncertain, and from whom?

Candidates have to toe respective party lines, but this doesn’t stop the shenanigans in Parliament.

Name-calling and insults are hurled and prospective hopefuls are dropping like flies, either resigning or ceremoniouslessly [I made that up!] getting the sack, or more accurately, their laptop and briefcase. The original saying, by the way – donner à quelqu’un son sac et ses quilles – meant handing back someone’s bag of skittles. Totally appropriate here.

I’ve recently learned that certain words are banned in the house. Liar is one. Alternative truth sounds better; but call a spade a spade, I reckon. Or a bloody shovel: much more useful for horseshit (see above). 

Members are brought to book and if found guilty, they’re gone. However, all is not lost. At least I hope so. 

Come mid-October, it will be all over and we can line up for that post-Election Party. Seems like a good line to end on.